How 600 Horsepower Helped Me Try For A Darwin Award

 A few years ago my wife gave me the best Christmas present ever, a bucket-list dream come true for a geezer sport-car enthusiast like me:  5 laps each in a Lamborghini Huracan (602 hp) and a Ferrari 488 (660 hp) at a track just south of Las Vegas run by Speed Vegas. They have a stable of cars you can

Me and "My" Lamborghini

drive, and although the Huracan and the 488 aren't the tippy-top of their lines, they were close enough for me to make the experience nearly stroke-inducing, which was what I was after. Now they have added some new cars to the buffet, including the jaw-droppingly delicious Corvette C8 (undoubtedly the best Vette ever). 

Ever since I was a teenager I've been a fan of sport cars, and I even owned an old classic Austin-Healey roadster which I managed to keep running with duct tape and baling wire.  It was a piece of junk, really, but it cornered well and looked really cool.  My fantasy, though, was to experience the thrill of a truly high-performance machine and Ferrari and Lamborghini were at the pinnacle of my hormone-addled dreams.

Me and "My" Ferrari

There are several of this kind of self-indulgent opportunities in Vegas, as you might imagine.  Other tracks allow you to go faster than the one I chose. For example one consisted of three straightaways connected by sharp turns at the end of each.  But the 1.5 mile track where I had my OmgI'mReallyDoingThis! experience was specifically designed to showcase ALL the performance capabilities of these marvelous machines. The back half of the course involved nearly continuous turning in both directions, accelerating and braking in between. The last turn entering the .5 mile straightaway requires that you slow to about 35-40 mph but then give it full acceleration (aka "full exhilaration") before having to brake for the sharp turn at the end.  I hit 134 in the Lamborghini and 141 in the Ferrari, and somehow resisted the siren song to go just a little faster before I hit the brakes.  Both of these cars are capable of 200+mph with enough room, but not on this track -- a good thing, according to my wife.

They don't just let you hop into one of their $300k cars and take off, however. First, they collect your money and make you sign a liability waiver which essentially says (1) you're crazy, (2) you admit that this is a very dangerous thing to do, and (3) you agree not to hold them responsible for A.n.y.t.h.i.n.g.

"Oh sure, piece of cake..."

Then there's an extensive briefing on the layout of the track and the operation of the cars' paddle shifters. Paddle shifters are a great invention which allows rapid shifting without using a clutch and without removing your hands from the steering wheel -- a far cry from my old Austin Healey that required frequent one-handed steering as you shifted with your right hand, and worked the clutch pedal with your left foot, while your right foot operated the brake and accelerator in a complex action called "heel and toe."  Anyway, in the photo you can see me pretending to understand the explanation of the best "line" through the course. After this you are fitted for a helmet (aka "brain bucket") that might allow for an open casket ceremony, if you're lucky.

Finally, you are accompanied while driving by a "coach" in the passenger seat who gives you turn-by-turn tips.  Also, he has a brake pedal of his own so as not to be totally in the hands of some crazed geezer like me who would consider this to be the perfect way to die, or who might have a coronary from the thrill of it all.  I'm not sure I would want the coach's job -- it would be a little like being a high school driving instructor at 130 mph. My couch got a little nervous that I wasn't braking hard enough at the end of the straightaway, but he never used his pedal.  I think he knows that novice drivers like me may be lulled by the (false?) sense of control these cars give you -- he was a teense more rational, plus he was young and had many more years ahead of him if he survived this gig with me behind the wheel.

An option which the track offers is a video package which includes views of the track from the front of the car, and interior shots of the dashboard instruments.  Naturally I had to have it.  

In the photo you can see the onboard display of my speed and my position on the track during one of my laps (yellow dot) in the Ferrari.  Traffic flow is counter-clockwise, and so you can see that I don't have much distance to bring the car down from 140 mph to about 40 for the next turn. However, these cars are engineered to do just that -- accelerate fast, brake fast, and corner like they are glued to the road surface.

I did pretty well and by the end of my 10 laps I was on Cloud 9. But then it got even better.  The onboard video for which I paid extra had failed during my Lamborghini laps.  I expected just a discount, but instead they gave me four more laps in the Lamborghini free!  Fourteen laps altogether! Viva Las Vegas!

Here's a link to me in action in the Ferrari. The video was taken by my wife from the observation deck. At times she had trouble finding the car in the viewfinder, so be patient.  You really can't see the back part of the track very well, but the acceleration in the straightway is very clear. Make sure your sound is turned up.

There's no deep philosophical insight I can offer here, other that perhaps this is another example of how we often appreciate things all the more when they come later in life, rather than being wasted on the young.  Also, there is a clear lesson that it's never too late for a Darwin Award, which is given to those whose deranged behavior removes them from the gene pool -- in my case before senescence robs me of that, too.

Fighting with Bubble Wrap; Catching Coquis

 [Note: This is another blog based on my weekly emails to my family on the mainland.]

10/30/21

Aloha Everybody –

I hope your fall is going ok.  Our weather had definitely changed from the last time I talked about it, which was when I was complaining about all the rain we were getting during the summer. Now we need some.  Maybe this was another aspect of the Sherman Travel Curse (see last week) but since we left for our trip it has been very dry, though it has stayed fairly cool. Some parts of the island are nearing drought conditions whereas a few months ago they were flooding.  Sigh.....

It was a very quiet week here.  We’re more or less over our jet lag, though it still seems hard to get much done each day.  My big project this week beside the usual maintenance stuff was to remove our old pool cover and install a new one.  This is the cover we use at night to keep our pool water warm.  It

looks like a huge piece of blue bubble wrap – the little bubbles trap air and act as an insulator.  These things last about 3 years and then the plastic starts to deteriorate from the sun and pool chemicals. We try to rationalize the environmental impact of the covers by buying very few plastic drink bottles, and by noting that people who use covers require less energy to heat their pools. Don't look too close at these arguments.

 It has been much cheaper over the years to buy replacements on the internet and install them ourselves.  This year, however, no company would ship to Hawai’i, so I had to find one locally.  They come in standard sizes which requires buying one that is actually too large and then trimming it to fit.  Sounds easy, right?  The problem is it is large, heavy, and difficult to maneuver.  Plus it comes folded up and needs several days to flatten out the wrinkles before any cuts are accurate.  I’ve found it usually takes around 3-4 trimmings along the sides to get it to where it will roll up fairly easily.  I’m on the third trim – this involves being on my hands and knees leaning over the edge of the pool.  What could possibly go wrong?

Our Covid situation is better but stubbornly continues with daily infections still higher than before the Delta variant came on the scene. The good news is that we now have a few ICU beds available and only one is being occupied by a Covid patient.  I learned this week that my gardener got Covid just after we left for our trip — yet another blow from the Sherman Travel Curse. (Let's see, we're up to earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, drought, disease---quite a trip!). Although he is now working again he can only manage a few hours a day.  Turns out he wasn’t vaccinated, but his wife, who works with him, was.  She didn’t get sick, nor did any of the others on his crew, all vaccinated.  He admits he should have gotten the vaccine, he said he just never found the time. He now regrets it, as I’m sure his wife reminds him, you know just from time to time....

I caught 4 coquis this week, all in our front garden.  When we returned last week I heard one and thought it was only one that moved in while we were gone.  Wrong.  Even with four on ice there is still another one that is taunting me, so at least 5 were setting up territories.  I think they are all very young and haven’t yet been able to attract females, but I can’t be sure.  It takes about 8-9 months for males to become sexually mature, and that’s when they start singing in earnest.  My captured frogs this week were very timid singers, usually only making a few calls at a time. I doubt any females were impressed. The fact that they were nearly all in the same small area and the same age makes me think there were from the same clutch of eggs deposited about 8 months ago.  The depressing aspect of that being true is that I could be battling a bunch more -- coquis generally lay clutches of 20-30 eggs.

Yesterday I saw my eye doctor.  It was six weeks since my last injection., which was right before we left .  The Eylea did its job, and there was no sign of new fluid buildup.  Bottom line, no shot. I'll go back in 4 weeks.  I won't have the drug discount for my next injection, but I'll get it anyway.

Karen played golf on Tuesday and did pretty well.  Her golf buddy will be returning to the mainland in November for routine medical checkups and to visit friends & family, so it looks like I’ll be taking to the links again in her place.  My goal this time will be to actually make it through all 18 holes.  Oh, and not spin the cart or drive it into one of the lakes.

That’s about it for this week.  Off for our usual Saturday morning itinerary.  Take care. Stay healthy and warm.
         

 

Jet Lag, Volcanic Twitch, Earthquake

 [Note: This is another blog based on my weekly emails to my family on the mainland.]

10/23/21

Aloha Guys –

We returned home last Monday night.  The next couple of days were tough – a mental fog made it hard to concentrate on getting things going again, and both of us took more than the usual number of naps. Jet lag has always bothered me, but it seems to be worse as I get older, or maybe I just am more intolerant of any kind of discombobulation these days.  Anyway, by Thursday we felt much better, enough to even go to the gym for a light workout.  My Mexico muscles let me know on Friday that we hadn’t worked out for a month. We also got our annual flu shots on Thursday, motivated by our neighbor who had a bad case after returning from a weekend on Oahu and spent a couple of days in bed.  The pharmacy person giving the shots confirmed that there is a particularly nasty strain going around this year.  BTW, my neighbor and her husband did the responsible thing and got tested for Covid – both negative.

Getting back into the US was actually not a big deal.  The requirement right now is that you have to show a negative Covid test result within the last 3 days, regardless of whether you are vaccinated. This meant getting a test in Oaxaca, which was very quick and easy – there are both clinical labs there and at least one big pharmacy chain which offer tests.  Our guide made appointments for us and the whole process went very well.

We spent about a week in San Diego before coming home, but it didn’t seem to help with the jet lag (CA is 3 hours later than here, Mexico is 5).  We had a very good time visiting friends and doing some sight-seeing.

While we were gone the Sherman travel curse struck again.  This phenomenon involves something bad happening after we leave, either at home or where we have been traveling.  In this case there was a 6.2

10/12 Great News Photo

earthquake just off the southern tip of our island not long after we left, and a few weeks later the volcano decided to wake up and put on a hissy-fit for a while. The two events were not related, in case you’re wondering.  Anyway, the only damage from the earthquake we’ve found is that Karen’s golf bag fell over in the closet, and some golf balls on top of a cabinet rolled off.  The volcano is still erupting but all activity is confined to the summit caldera, and it has almost shut off again.  Our neighbors said that the vog was bad for a few days, but now we can barely notice it.  Vog comes

10/18 Back to Sleep

from the SO2 gas released from magma, and right now it is a mere 2,700 tons per day, whereas it had been 85,000 tons per day while we were gone.  It has always been hard for me to grasp that gas could be measured in tons and 85,000 tons is particularly difficult.

Ok, that’s about it.  Off to market and to our usual beach breakfast picnic.  Take care, and enjoy your early fall weather.  You know what comes next....

A Booster, A Radiator, An Eyeball

[Note: This is another blog based on my weekly emails to my family on the mainland.]

(9/18/21)

Aloha Everybody –

This will be my last regular email for awhile.  Our trip begins next week and it may be difficult to keep keep up. Instead, I’ll include you on the list of travel emails we send out to friends as we go, probably every 10 days or so.  We’re getting excited – our first international trip in 2.5 years!  This week was dedicated to the usual house prep, lots of trimming, cleaning, etc., so that we don’t come home to a jungle or to a mess.  It has been a long time since we have had to work this hard in a short amount of time and I admit it’s tiring.

On Sunday we managed to get booster shots at one of our local pharmacies.  We both have good reasons for getting them a little early, and the pharmacy agreed.  The reactions were about like the first shot – mild headache, brief period of joint pain, and a day of feeling tired and out of sorts.  Not fun but not all that bad, either.  Anyway, we are now about as protected as we can be and as I mentioned, the infection rate in Mexico is far lower than here in Kona.  Our biggest risk is going through airports and sitting on planes for 10-12 hours. Someone here asked if we didn’t feel bad, having 3 shots when much of the world is struggling to get even one.  My answer was yes, but the shot I got here and now was one turned down by someone who could have chosen to have it but refused it.  Rather than have it do no good at all, I took advantage of the opportunity to protect myself and others to the maximum extent that I can.

Minnie’s “surgery” went well and she now has a brand new radiator.  The bill wasn’t as bad as I feared. Any time you can get out of a garage for less than $500 these days you’re lucky. I just barely made it, but over the years this car has been a real bargain and I don’t mind at all.  For being 18 years old it is still doing great, looks good, and we have no intention of replacing it, even if the maintenance gets more expensive.  Of course, a new Corvette C8 might make a nice companion.....
 
Karen played golf on Tuesday.  Her usual golf partner returned unexpectedly and the two of them

Baby now has a tiara

returned to Makalei for a round.  Her partner had been scheduled to go on a cruise and decided to cancel because of Covid.  Karen didn’t know she was coming back until last weekend.  I had agreed to play with her, but I don’t mind skipping it, given the stuff around the house I have to do to get ready for the trip.  Besides, I don’t think I can top my two bogey accomplishment.

Today I have my eyeball examined.  It has stayed more or less the same, which is remarkable given how long it has been since my last shot (10 weeks)  I’d really like to have one today, though, because it seems very unlikely I can make it until we get back from our trip.  Imagine, *wanting* a needle jammed into your eye! If I wasn’t traveling I’d try to go even longer, because I could always quickly get a shot here if needed, but this would be much more difficult while traveling, especially out of the country.

Ok, enough for now. Focus on the positive, stay away from irresponsible people, and enjoy whatever good weather comes your way.

Virtual Labor Day, Vicarious Golf, Nullified Workout, Steamed Minnie

[Note: This is another blog based on my weekly emails to my family on the mainland.] 

9/11/21 (An anniversary to be remembered but not celebrated)

Aloha Everybody --

When we lived in Ohio we almost always marked the end of summer by going to the massive fireworks display on Labor Day, held on the Ohio River in Cincinnati.  This was a hugely popular event, attracting hundreds of thousands of spectators who would line the river bank to watch the show.  Despite the crowds I always thought it was worth it to get as close as possible – to feel the booms and experience how huge some of the fireworks were.  We handled the crowded conditions and inevitable traffic problems by arriving close to show time, leaving our car parked far away, then hustling back to the car afterwards and beating most of the traffic out of the downtown area.

The show was canceled last year, though they set off the fireworks at another site that was kept secret so that people wouldn’t try to congregate. The local tv channel recorded the display and broadcast it.  

This year the event returned to the river, despite the rise in Covid cases.  Our friends in Ohio with whom we usually attended were leery of going, even though they are both vaccinated, but decided to see how close they could get without getting into a really crowded situation.  It turned out the attendance was down so much that they were able to enjoy the show fairly close to the action.  They sent us the link to the televised version and it was AWESOME.  We hooked up our Ipad to the tv and ran the sound through our good speakers, with the volume cranked a bit high – not quite as good as being there but much safer.

Karen and her friend from Oregon played golf on Monday at another course.  This one was further up

Makani Golf Course

north and almost as beautiful as her favorite one closer to Kailua.  The weather was again gorgeous for them, and Karen again did quite well.  She also saw a mating pair of Nenes, the first of the season.  I enjoyed all this vicariously through Karen’s photos and texts.

Pizza at Sunset

 

On Tuesday we joined our friend for pizza, sitting on her shoreline lanai watching the sunset. She left on Wednesday morning but will return in December for another short visit.

That same night our Mazda got steamed –it looks like the radiator has developed a leak and will probably have to be replaced.  Minnie will go in for surgery on Monday, along with my wallet. I’ll let you know how this turns out.

On Thursday we did our usual workout at Planet Fitness, then completely nullified the benefits with lunch at Quinn’s Almost by the Sea restaurant.  Despite the self-depricating name, this is one of the oldest and most successful restaurants along the waterfront, and very popular with locals.  It is a stone’s through from the bay but has absolutely no view of the water – or of anything else.  However, the atmosphere is about as friendly and welcoming as you can get, and our lunch was delicious – blackened fish tacos with possibly the best fries in town, boneless Kalbi ribs, and a very good draft beer.  We took half home for dinner, and as soon as it was in the refrigerator we both took a long nap.  That’s my kind of workout!

We are still on track to go on our trip to Mexico.  Covid there remains much lower than here, and their downward trend in cases has continued.  Tomorrow we are going to try to get booster shots.  We think we qualify, but we will have to convince the pharmacy of that.  Again, I’ll let ou know.

Ok, that’s about it.  There is way too much strife, natural and unnatural disasters, and just plain craziness right now.  Take a deep breath (not in the presence of an anti-vaxer/anti-masker) and try to concentrate on whatever is good in your life.  

Postponing Paradise, Celebrating Mortgage Crossover Day

[Note: This is another blog based on my weekly emails to my family on the mainland.]

9/4/21

In the 20 years we’ve lived in Hawai’i we’ve experienced a lot of unusual things – volcanoes, hurricanes, the eerie quiet after 9/11 shut down all sea and air connections to the state, which meant no deliveries of food, fuel, mail, and toilet paper. But having our Governor ask tourists to stay away is definitely a first.  He’s been on t.v. a couple of times in the last week or so imploring mainland visitors to reconsider coming to our islands, despite our economy's heavy reliance on tourism.  This isn't because visitors are bringing disease and pestilence (very few Covid cases are linked to visiting tourists) but because our infrastructure is overwhelmed, particularly our health care system.  Here in Kona there are at most 2-4 available ICU beds – not much leeway to treat heart attacks, accidents, and other emergencies, let alone additional severe Covid cases – nearly all of whom are local, young and unvaccinated.  Restrictions on gathering size, restaurant capacity, tours, tourist sights, transportation, etc., etc. and the health risk local residents pose to visitors makes this a bad time to try to enjoy the beauty and usual warm hospitality of this unique and wonderful place. Come back later, please.

Here are a few tidbits from Thursday's West Hawai'i Today paper about the root cause of our current health crisis:  97% of the COVID-19 patients admitted to Kona Community Hospital since April 1 have been unvaccinated; most are under 50 and a few have been younger than 17;  unvaccinated people are 5 times more likely to be infected with Covid, and they are 29 times more likely to be hospitalized.  Those who are adopting a "wait and see" approach to getting vaccinated might consider that they might not be around to finally make up their minds.....

Hookay. Enough already.

This week continued to be wet, but we had a few days with a fair amount of sun and even ran our bedroom a.c. a couple of nights.  The pool is staying at about 82d, but we are still covering it most nights – very unusual for this time of year.  The afternoon rains have put a damper on our gardening efforts, though I did manage to take out a large amount of ground cover where coqui frogs were starting to take up residence.  By way, my hand catching efforts have really yielded results – between my fellow coqui hunter neighbor down the street, we have eliminated about 300 of the little devils in the last year or so.  They will keep coming, of course, just like ants and mosquitoes, but being diligent and putting in some effort at control does keep them at bay.

On Wednesday we celebrated yet another event – our mortgage crossover day!!  This was the day when our monthly payment began to consist of more money toward the principal than interest!  So from now on our actual debt will shrink faster and faster, definitely a good feeling.  We celebrated with sunset dinner at one of our favorite shoreline restaurants called Fish Hopper -- Poke Nachos with Wasabi Cream and Furikake Seaweed appetizer and a main dish of Blackened Opakapaka with coconut shrimp and purple potatoes.  Oh, and a couple of beers.  Very nice.  

Karen’s snow bird golfing buddy from Oregon arrived on Wednesday for a short stay to look after their rental house on the shore.  She and Karen played yesterday and will go again on Monday.  I guess I could have played with them but opted not to – I went to Planet Fitness instead.  Not as much exercise, but it is much faster......
                           
Ok, that’s about it for this week.  Try not to let news of current events get to you.  A tall order, I know.  What’s the saying, “Stop the World, I want to get off?" I agree completely.  Take care.

    
 

Eyeball Mo’ Betta’; Doctor Fights; Three Anniversaries

[Note: This is another blog based on my weekly emails to my family on the mainland.]

8/28/21

Aloha All –

My appointment with my eye doc last Saturday went very well.  My acuity was slightly better in the right eye (20/80), good pressures, no new edema.  The plan is to go back in four weeks just before our trip and probably have a precautionary shot then.  That will make 10 weeks between injections – a record!  By the way, I happened to stumble on the date when all this started – it was in the fall of 2013, nearly 8 years ago! I’m guessing I’m up to 50 or more jabs in the eyeball during that time, so I welcome the slowdown.

I also saw my internist for my usual 6-month followup.  This didn’t go quite so well, at least at first. My preliminary blood work showed – you guessed it – low sodium.  I got the usual call from his nurse – restrict fluids to 32 oz. and stay away from demon water. Deja vu all over again!  I know, I know, I was going to change physicians after the last episode of this, but somehow I never got around to it.  Then my prescriptions ran out and I figured the quickest way to get them renewed was to go back to Dr. “You-drink-too-much-water-stop-that-you-dufus” one more time. This was an actual office visit, not a Zoom call, and he’ll only see you in person if you’ve been vaccinated. The session actually went pretty good – I think he had reviewed my history in advance this time. He admitted that I’m somebody with normally low sodium (not caused by drinking gallons of liquid) and it can get even lower if I drink lots of water or if I sweat (or if somebody prescribes a diuretic without checking the patient’s history).  He backed off the restriction mantra but warned me of the danger of taking in too much pure water all at once with my condition – namely the risk of a brain aneurysm, aka exploding brain. There has to be a delicate balance between retaining enough salt in my blood to avoid this, while not having it so high that it raises my bp. Isn’t this fun!?  

We’re still on track for our Mexico trip.  Some of our acquaintances here have expressed grave concern over our safety in terms of the Covid upsurge.  It turns out that the current infection rate here in Kona is twice what it is in Mexico City, and it is 6 to 10 times higher in Kona than in the other areas of Mexico where we will be spending most of our time.  In short, we are far safer in Mexico than we are in Kona right now.  Anyway, our biggest concern is that Mexico may impose restrictions while we are there that would make it difficult to enjoy the trip, so we’re tracking developments closely.
    
Wednesday was our Wedding Anniversary.  Last year we celebrated with takeout.  This year we had

Complimentary Chocolate Souffle!

dinner at the Four Seasons resort up north.  Guess which was more enjoyable, though way more expensive. Also this week we had two other anniversaries which we always try to celebrate: The last first day of school for Karen on the 27th and the last first day for me on the 28th.  These days always put a huge damper on celebrating our Wedding Anniversary, so now we eagerly celebrate their absence.  We split a bottle of champagne three ways – a little before our dinner at Four Seasons, and then the rest on the other two days.  Let’s hear it for anniversaries!

We got our electric bill this week and it confirmed that June, July, and August have been the cloudiest consecutive months since we installed our pv system 8 years ago.  We still have a surplus for the contract year with Helco, but it is the lowest ever.  Actually this is kind of good news, because the surplus will revert to the company at the end of October and we will start from zero for the next 12 months.  Usually we give up hundreds of dollars when this happens, but this year it will be a pittance.  Our solar investment is paying off, in other words.

Ok, take care everybody.  Keep you head clear and your body safe.  Off to the beach (still open so far) for our picnic breakfast.