I'm writing this on September 30, 2020, roughly eight months into the Covid 19 pandemic. Like everyone else, my life has been upended by a tiny virus that I had never heard of a short time ago. On top of that, there is the turmoil of the most contentious, rancorous, and consequential Presidential election of my lifetime. On top of THAT I see world-wide discord and social upheaval that seems far worse and dangerous that I can ever remember. And THEN there is the politicization of science and attacks on rationality and evidence-based decision-making by our highest leaders and the acceptance of this denigration by a disturbingly large portion of our populace. And THEN I'm watching the splintering of our society into fragments defined by self-interest and group identity that are vehemently against unity through compromise. And I ALSO see tremendous social upheaval in my country that is clearly the legacy of our racist past and present and is leading to excesses on all sides. On top of all THAT I'm watching an economy collapse, putting millions in dire economic straights while others are getting ever richer without lifting a finger. And finally, the daily news is full of stories about hurricanes, fires, floods, record polar ice melting, species extinctions, etc., etc., etc. Have I left anything out?
In short, everyday experience can seem pretty grim in these troubled times.
Like many other people, I find myself wishing that I could just fast-forward to a calmer, gentler, safer, and more just world. You know, just erase the near future and all the negative experiences it will bring. Even skipping a year or two would perhaps ease my angst -- by then a COVID 19 vaccine will have been deployed to enough of the population to allow a return to "normal" life again.
But then a small voice in my head insistently and sternly echoes something my mother used to tell me when I would whine that I wished I were older and could just skip the restrictions and unpleasantness of the present and get to the good part of life: Never wish away time because you can never get it back!
As with a lot of other advice she gave me, I had to acquire a bit of wisdom myself in order to finally appreciate the wisdom of her words. But I realize now that she was absolutely right. To wish for a shorter life is not a real good idea for anyone, but particularly not for someone of my age. I simply don't have enough years left to wish the next couple of them away. And the assumption that the future will be peachy-keen and necessarily better than right now is, well, stupid. Most glaringly, it ignores the fact that some of the most challenging times of my life (i.e., full of angst and pain) have turned out in retrospect to have been enriching and enlightening in ways that the easy times can't match. And of course my predictions about the future have often been glaringly inaccurate. Bottom line: We can't know the future nor relive the past -- we can only truly experience now.
So I'm trying to follow Mom's advice by buckling up for the ride, looking for and appreciating the many good things along the way as this current maelstrom slugs and churns its way toward the future.
Oh, and speaking of buckling up, another bit of Mom's advice (also sound) was Always wear clean underwear when you take a trip in a car. If you are in an accident the people who care for you won't think you're a slob.
5 comments:
That first paragraph is so insightful and beautifully written. Good thing you had your mom to bail you out of your desperation. As for her second piece of advice...I think if I'm in some kind of accident, the first thing that goes is my bowels.
Great read and just the inspiration I need. Thanks.
Many years ago while working as a nurse I cared for a young man who was quite upset after a motor vehicle crash. He did not follow his mother’s advice about clean underwear. He wasn’t wearing any and he wanted me to be sure his mother did not find out.
We all have markers in our lives. The good ones are graduations, weddings, travels, accomplishments, etc. The sad ones are failures, funerals, jobs lost, economic downturns, wars and more. I do feel that right now the bad markers are ganging up on us and we need to look harder for those good ones. Stan & I try to remember that we are among the lucky ones - little debt, good incomes, and a safe home.
In for my flu shot the other day, and the nurse said, “last day of September—I can’t wait for this year to be over”. And your mom was right. Midnight in December 31 will not magically bring us into a healthy and just society. Thanks for yourr reflections.
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