A few years ago I wrote a blog about my mixed feelings concerning the Christmas season (Bah, Humbug! (Sort Of),12/12). My attitudes haven't changed much, but in honor of the reflective spirit of the Holidays I want to expand a bit on this topic and offer some additional observations
It's become clear to me that a major trigger for the beginning of my Christmas malaise is the spectacle of Black Friday. This occurs the day after Thanksgiving, a holiday which seems to bring out the best in people, including many sincere displays of generosity and charity. The very next day, however, there is a tidal wave of selfish acquisitiveness in which the motto seems to be "Push, Shove, Grab, Buy" as people fight for everything from t.v.'s to toys. These are most certainly not all intended as gifts, but rather are often desirable material possessions that are priced so low that the result is the retail equivalent of a feeding frenzy. If there really is a "war on Christmas" as some have argued, I suggest that it isn't liberal philosophy but rather over-amped commercialism that is the major source. At any rate, this day marks the beginning of my Christmas season emotional doldrums.
I have been ambivalent about the holiday season for quite some time, and I think the seeds were planted in childhood.
As a kid I can remember being so excited that I was unable to sleep on Christmas Eve. Everything was so special -- the decorations at our house and around the city, the presents under the tree, the Christmas music on the radio and in the shopping malls, the heartwarming holiday specials on television, the dozens of Christmas cards we sent and received. Although my family wasn't devoutly religious, we usually attended midnight mass on Christmas Eve at our local Episcopalian church. Christmas day was a hectic family affair that started with opening presents, followed by dinner in mid-afternoon with in-laws and relatives, more exchanging and opening of gifts, then socializing until 8 or 9 o'clock. All in all this was a very intense and long day.
The next day was a big let down. I can remember getting together with neighborhood friends to compare gifts and to play with each other's stuff. But the big thrill was over and it seemed anticlimactic. Amazing what a difference 24 hours can make -- from heartfelt joy, eager anticipation, and warm fuzzy emotions to a kind of emptiness, deflation and a feeling of despondency. And those presents I had wanted so badly almost never lived up to my expectations.
As an adult I have to fight a tendency to become a bit depressed during the holiday season. It's not that I'm a Scrooge at heart -- I really would like to feel the holiday spirit and experience those warm fuzzies again. But it is hard to do when retailers start their holiday push even before Halloween, Christmas carols are used to sell merchandise rather than express holiday sentiments, and buying gifts is evaluated in terms of contribution to GNP rather than as a gesture of caring. It seems commercialized, shallow and insincere.
And of course it is hard to reconcile the messages of goodwill and peace with pervasive international conflict, with the exploitation, denigration and ruthless subjugation of large segments of the global population, and with politicians and even some religious leaders calling for policies that are at odds with compassion and loving kindness. If we could act like it was Christmas Eve throughout the year these problems might disappear. But I fear we are more likely to act like it was the day after Christmas -- or even worse, Black Friday
To end on a more positive note, and to illustrate my ambivalence, not just negativity toward the holidays, I'll offer this thought: maybe capturing the spirit of the season shouldn't be easy. Maybe the challenge of overcoming the obstacles, of seeing past the commercialism, conflict, and shallowness can lead to a more significant personal and social experience. I think it's worth a try. Maybe now more than ever.
It's become clear to me that a major trigger for the beginning of my Christmas malaise is the spectacle of Black Friday. This occurs the day after Thanksgiving, a holiday which seems to bring out the best in people, including many sincere displays of generosity and charity. The very next day, however, there is a tidal wave of selfish acquisitiveness in which the motto seems to be "Push, Shove, Grab, Buy" as people fight for everything from t.v.'s to toys. These are most certainly not all intended as gifts, but rather are often desirable material possessions that are priced so low that the result is the retail equivalent of a feeding frenzy. If there really is a "war on Christmas" as some have argued, I suggest that it isn't liberal philosophy but rather over-amped commercialism that is the major source. At any rate, this day marks the beginning of my Christmas season emotional doldrums.
I have been ambivalent about the holiday season for quite some time, and I think the seeds were planted in childhood.
As a kid I can remember being so excited that I was unable to sleep on Christmas Eve. Everything was so special -- the decorations at our house and around the city, the presents under the tree, the Christmas music on the radio and in the shopping malls, the heartwarming holiday specials on television, the dozens of Christmas cards we sent and received. Although my family wasn't devoutly religious, we usually attended midnight mass on Christmas Eve at our local Episcopalian church. Christmas day was a hectic family affair that started with opening presents, followed by dinner in mid-afternoon with in-laws and relatives, more exchanging and opening of gifts, then socializing until 8 or 9 o'clock. All in all this was a very intense and long day.
The next day was a big let down. I can remember getting together with neighborhood friends to compare gifts and to play with each other's stuff. But the big thrill was over and it seemed anticlimactic. Amazing what a difference 24 hours can make -- from heartfelt joy, eager anticipation, and warm fuzzy emotions to a kind of emptiness, deflation and a feeling of despondency. And those presents I had wanted so badly almost never lived up to my expectations.
As an adult I have to fight a tendency to become a bit depressed during the holiday season. It's not that I'm a Scrooge at heart -- I really would like to feel the holiday spirit and experience those warm fuzzies again. But it is hard to do when retailers start their holiday push even before Halloween, Christmas carols are used to sell merchandise rather than express holiday sentiments, and buying gifts is evaluated in terms of contribution to GNP rather than as a gesture of caring. It seems commercialized, shallow and insincere.
And of course it is hard to reconcile the messages of goodwill and peace with pervasive international conflict, with the exploitation, denigration and ruthless subjugation of large segments of the global population, and with politicians and even some religious leaders calling for policies that are at odds with compassion and loving kindness. If we could act like it was Christmas Eve throughout the year these problems might disappear. But I fear we are more likely to act like it was the day after Christmas -- or even worse, Black Friday
To end on a more positive note, and to illustrate my ambivalence, not just negativity toward the holidays, I'll offer this thought: maybe capturing the spirit of the season shouldn't be easy. Maybe the challenge of overcoming the obstacles, of seeing past the commercialism, conflict, and shallowness can lead to a more significant personal and social experience. I think it's worth a try. Maybe now more than ever.