Introducing Zork Zynt, Intergalactic Field Agent (Spy)

Zork's official bio for the Directory of Intergalactic Field Agents is reproduced here:

Zork Zynt  Cultural Analyst, Supreme Intergalactic Expeditionary Council. Transmorgified on planet xv406.98 ("Earth"), local date 11.4.2019 to follow up earlier reports regarding suitability of local species for exploitation. Unfortunately Zork could not adapt to local conditions and had to be recalled prematurely.  Currently under neurological treatment and rehabilitation on Xyborg 6 for extreme stress and disorientation.

While on earth Zork sent sporadic reports about his observations of earthlings in a political unit called "America." Due to the primitive local infrastructure and extreme distance of transmission, the reports were very short and were often received in clusters of 2-3 at a time.  They will be released in the same manner, beginning with those reproduce below.

As his assignment progressed Zork became more and more deranged by his contact with earth culture and eventually had to be removed for his own well-being. His reports are a cautionary tale to be considered carefully in expeditionary planning.

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Encrypted Transmission #001 Agent ZZ to IEC Local Date Nov72019

Zork here on Earth. Transmorgification went ok, but still not used to this human body. Leaks all the time and requires energy inputs that just pass through. Also the more palatable the inputs the greater damage they do. Getting very fond of something called “Krispy Kremes.”

Encrypted Transmission #002 Agent ZZ to IEC Local Date Nov72019

Materialized in a place called “America.” Past recon agents must have been high on gorxinger worms. Very dangerous. Weapons for waging war everywhere and easy for anyone to obtain. Send a Level 4 Neutralizer to replace my current Level 1. Hope I survive this...

End of Transmission. Complete as sent. Acknowledge Receipt .