Batch Transmission from Zork on Earth #3

The following reports from Agent Zork Zynt were received as another relayed batch transmission (# 3) and their translation appears below.  For some reason the original report dates were jumbled during compression and transmission, a problem engineers are still investigating.

The Directorate is also investigating Zork's allegations about agents Drzxlop and Rodenberry. Both are repeat offenders and the charges are being taken very seriously.

_____________________________________ 

Encrypted Transmission #006 Agent ZZ to IEC Local Date 11.20.19

Zork to Interspecies Transgression Agency: plz investigate..Looks like field agent Drzxlop may be up to his old tricks again...just can't keep it in his pants apparently.  Interspecies dalliances are strictly forbidden, for obvious reasons.  Plz investigate.

From ABC News, Narwhal the Puppy

Encrypted Transmission #007 Agent ZZ to IEC Local Date 01.16.20

Request Agent Oversight Department investigate possible violations of Prime Directive by agent Xcvlif, human name "Gene Roddenberry." May have divulged a number of technology secrets, and even the concept of "Prime Directive" itself!! 

Encrypted Transmission #008 Agent ZZ to IEC Local Date 12.01.19·

Advise Terraforming Dept. we need extensive repair to planet. Outlook grim. Current US leader rejects abundant scientific evidence Humans are continuing to do tremendous damage and undoes protections already in place, claiming this is somehow making the country “great again.”

Encrypted Transmission #009 Agent ZZ to IEC Local Date 11.08.19·

Looked into Krispy Kremes more.  So good but so bad!  Inflict great damage to human bodies but seem irresistible.  Whole range of foods like this, main diet of many American humans.  No surprise humans in US have many health problems. My expanding human form making mission difficult.  Can’t fit through doorways.
·

A Week of Seeing, Tasting, Hearing

 9/5/20

Aloha, All! Happy Labor Day!

Life is lurching along here in the islands.  First, I’ll get the bad news out of the way.  Covid 19 is so bad we are seeing a reversal in opening up.  This is particularly true on Oahu, where the stress on the health care facilities has led to a total “stay at home” order and re-closing of non-essential businesses.  Here on our island it isn’t quite as bad, but we’re seeing 20-30 new cases a day, and now an increase in hospitalizations and deaths.  Fortunately (?) not all the new severe cases have required hospital treatment – about 50 residents of a Hilo Veterans’ Home are being kept in place unless they require special facilities.  Those who argue for “powering through it” and going for “herd immunity” should remember that (a) this is who we would be sacrificing and (b) non-covid emergency care for themselves or loved ones would get more and more scarce.  Anyway, the only restriction so far here is that beaches are closed again (except for getting to and from the ocean) and gatherings larger than 5 are prohibited.  Most of the new cases on our island are still on Hilo side, but an example of why this is only temporary is when a few days ago the police broke up a gathering at a beach park very close to us of about 30 “anti-maskers” who were planning protest strategy against Covid restrictions and also to resist the deployment of 5G cell technology. Also, a large beach party in the fishing village of Miloli, about 30 miles from us in South Kona has produced about a dozen cases so far, traced to people who live and work on our side, not just those in the village.  Sigh......

More positive news now.  Karen played golf on Tuesday and the weather was very nice. With all the regular once a week practice, she’s been getting better and better.  My big house project this week went well – replacing the ballast in two of the fluorescent light fixtures in the garage. Last week I replaced an entire fixture but then decided I might be able to replace and re-wire just the ballast part that actually powers the tubes in the other two fixtures.  The parts were readily available at Lowes for about ½ the price of a whole fixture.  Turns out the replacement ballasts, though much lighter than the old ones, fit perfectly and had the same wiring scheme.  The hardest part was working on a ladder with the fixture above my head, which I am glad to report surviving.  Both fixtures work great now and the light makes it much easier to see what I’m doing in the garage. There is a fluorescent fixture in our laundry room I’m going to tackle next......

Since the weather got dry enough to set my rat trap in the fig tree, we’ve been able to pick some very nice fruit for a change and have some fig salads and a fig pizza.  Very tasty.  It only required the lives of 4 Oxfarts.  Normally I might be reluctant to kill something just so we can tickle our taste buds – we don’t need the figs as food for survival, but the rats do. However, the rats here are hosts to a parasite called Rat Lungworm. They don’t die from this, but their poop contains larvae that slugs, snails, and frogs can eat and pass on to humans via home-grown vegetables,  Controlling rats as well as slugs, snails, and coqui frogs has some definite justification, in other words.

Finally, I got a new techno-toy this week, a pair of Beats Pro wireless ear pods.  This is probably my 4th or 5th attempt to find ear buds that sound good and won’t fall out of my ears.  Both Karen and I have ears (particularly the left) that just don’t like them.  These new ones have ear loops that go over your ears and ensure the buds won’t come out.  My big concern was how comfortable they would be, including while also wearing glasses.  So far so good.  This long quest may be finally over.  I bought them at Costco.com, so if they didn’t fit or if they crap out (like my last pair) I could easily return them.  A bit expensive but maybe worth it.

Ok, it is a beautiful morning and we’re off on a modification of our usual Saturday routine.  We don’t need to go to Farmers’ Market this morning, nor to Planet Fitness (we went on Thursday instead).  Instead of having our picnic at one of the beach parks, we’re stopping at the shoreline house of our Oregon snowbird friends who graciously are letting us use their lanai while they are on the mainland.

Take care everyone.  Stay as safe and sane as you can – both are real challenges these days.
                                                

Meet Some Gecko Friends

One of the necessities of living here in Hawai'i is that you have to coexist with a number of other creatures who, like you, are not "native."  Some of these are nuisances, pests, and even ecologically harmful, like rats, ants, coqui frogs, mosquitoes, cockroaches (and perhaps also humans?).  But some have more of a mixed character -- like the several species of geckos around our house.  I've written before about these critters (see "More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About Geckos").  We have even befriended a number of the ones that regularly show up at the table where we eat our breakfast outside by our pool.

What, exactly, does "befriend a gecko" mean, you ask?  Earning their trust is a major part of it, to the point where a few seem to enjoy resting on your arm, hand, or even shoulder.  They will also accept being hand-fed a bit of mushed papaya or a small piece of scrambled egg. Even though we reward their approach by feeding them each morning (they only come at breakfast, seldom at lunch or dinner), some seem to genuinely enjoy just "hanging out" with us for awhile.

I assert that our friends are harmless, intelligent, and curious animals that have distinct personalities. In a few more years that statement will likely land me in a locked ward somewhere, but for now I greatly enjoy these little guys.

The population gradually turns over from attrition due to predation (mostly by other introduced species, predominately Minah birds and Egrets).  Here are a few of our current favorites, whom we have named by noting the unique patterns of markings on their backs or foreheads;

"Symmy"

 "Symmy" 

 

Symmy has a strikingly symmetric pattern of dots on her back.  She's a bit skittish and often late to arrive at the table, even though she lives just a few feet away on a lanai underhang.

"Dotty"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                       "Dotty"

 

Yeah, I know this one has symmetric dots too, though not as round.  But look closely and you'll see two very small dots above the two larger ones on each side of the large center one.  Dotty is a gentle soul who enjoys hand feeding, as shown here. There is a single-dot version whose mugshot doesn't appear here, with just one small dot over the center big one.  It's named "Eyedot."  Alternatives for the two of them we didn't think of initially might have been "Duodot" and "Unidot."

 "Donut"

"Donut"

Ok, this one may take a bit of imagination, but if you look very, very closely, you'll see that the center dot is lighter in the middle than at the edges.  This is unusual and earned the name "Donut," a somewhat stand-offish gecko who nonetheless is one of the first on the scene for breakfast, a characteristic in line with the name.

"Angel"

'

"Angel"

 

And finally, "Angel."  Note the smooshing together of the spots and the elongation of the side ones to kinda sorta maybe look like wings.  Actually, "Angel" is a bit of a "Karen" with an entitled, "rules aren't really for me" attitude. But she's very friendly and is one who likes to just hang out, often in our lap, or on an arm or a leg.  Here she is violating the rule not to eat off our plates (we have designated Gecko Feeding Stations (yogurt container lids) where they are officially allowed to eat.

 

 

There are a few other current favorite geckos ("punahele" in Hawaiian) but I couldn't get good photos of them.  Why tolerate them and not try to keep them at bay like many people we know do?  Well, they really are quite endearing --to us-- and the closest thing we have to pets or offspring.  Also, they are great at catching mosquitoes and other flying insects, so they perform a very useful service.  They are generally well behaved, they are physically harmless to humans and their possessions, and they make almost no sounds that we can hear.* The biggest downside is that they poop out all those insects, and we find this intolerable inside the house but not so objectionable outside (see Cleaning Up Poop In Paradise for a full expose').  This is a case of coexistence which seems to be mutually beneficial even if problematic at times. Something our society could use more of these days.....

 

 

*One species of Gecko, active almost exclusively at night, occasionally makes a kind of fast "clucking" sound. Our friends do not do this, however.

 

 

A Triple Anniversary and Three Dead Oxfarts

 8/29/20

Aloha Everybody.....

Whew!  By our sluggish standards this was a very busy week.  My eyeball exam last Saturday went great!  No injection needed as the new drug seems to be working its magic again – I’ll go back in 6 weeks to have another checkup, and by then I bet I’ll need another shot when the magic wears off. Even more good news this week, though was that the approval to cover the cost was extended until February!  Gee, I sure hope no one messes with Medicare.....

On Tuesday we celebrated the first of our three anniversaries this week – our 53rd wedding anniversary and the two days each of us didn’t have to return to our respective teaching jobs (this year we’re especially thankful not to return).  We couldn’t really do anything super-special on Tuesday, but did manage to go snorkeling (only me, though, because Karen had a swollen lip from a minor gardening mishap), then lunch at a shoreline restaurant, and finally some champagne at sunset.  We had more champagne for each of the other two celebrations but that was about it, though we did reflect on the challenges facing those who are trying to return to the classroom this year.

On Thursday we both had our teeth cleaned back-to-back by the same hygenist– normally not a event worth reporting but these days it is a very big deal. And on Friday Karen went through the ordeal of having her driver’s license renewed.  She’s on the geezerette short cycle of having to renew every two years. I’ll go on that cycle when mine expires in 2022.  Hawaii is very strict on documentation, even if you’re just renewing: Proof of Hawaii residence and legal presence,, Social Security number, and proof of name identity.  For women this can be a bit difficult if they have changed their name, and most go with a bundle of stuff including their marriage certificate.  For Hawaii residence you have to show recent statements from a bank or utility company, which can be very difficult in this day of electronic statements that aren’t really mailed to a physical address.  Also, even though most of our accounts are in both of our names, the statements most always appear to be mailed to just me.  Anyway, it all worked out and Karen is set for two years and even has the Gold Star thingy.  By the way, registering to vote here requires much the same documentation.  Mail-in ballots (all of Hawaii now votes by mail) are sent only to registered voters who have all this recent documentation.  Our signature-verified ballots can be tracked by voters online to make sure they were delivered and counted. Our recent primaries went very smoothly and results were made available in a day. Sorry DT, no fraud or delivery issues here.

On Thursday our 2003 Miata had to go in for service. Turned out to be a faulty ignition coil, which my trusty mechanic replaced and also replaced the sparkplugs and ignition wires.  Runs like a champ now, even for being 17 years old!

We have a very nice fig tree in our yard that has delicious fruit.  But just when the fruit is getting ripe it has been disappearing.  From past experience we suspected rats were stealing the figs at night. As I explain in my blog “How To Kill An Oxfart” we’re believers in using the most humane methods of control possible, in this case an electronic trap that renders them unconscious immediately and stops their heart.  This is arguably the best technique other than the good old snap trap, which is also instantly fatal. Anyway, the rain we’ve been having has prevented setting the electronic trap – until once last week and two nights this week.  Bingo, three dead rats.  I suspect there may be another one though because so far all the casualties have been female. I doubt there will be more than four – the maturing figs will be the evidence.  Unfortunately, then we will have to beat off the birds, who also find these figs tasty and will try to get to them first. Another tribulation of our stressful lives......

The Covid 19 upsurge is continuing and Oahu’s medical facilities are near capacity.  Here on our island we have nearly 100 active cases as of yesterday, nearly all on the east side of the island.  It is just a matter of time before our side is seeing cases though, because so many people from Hilo area and south commute to work in Kona.  Here’s my response to those who think this is a hoax or that because they are young and healthy they shouldn’t be required to wear a mask: Ok, but we know that even asymptomatic people (estimated to be about 40% of those who are infected) spread the virus to those who will be ill enough to need hospital care.  Now imagine you or your loved ones are in an accident, have a heart attack, or some other health crisis and need to be treated at one of the facilities that your selfish behavior has led to being overwhelmed.  By wearing a mask you may be saving your own or your loved ones’ life.

Ok, enough.  Off to Farmers’ Market, beach breakfast and our weekly workout.  Then home for a much-needed nap.

Eyeballs, Photons, and Mean Microbes

8/22/20

Aloha All!

Quiet here, thankfully.  I may have health news later today, as I have an eye doctor appointment around lunchtime.  Things seem good, but the tests will tell the true story.  It has been just a month since the last injection, and my experience with this new drug (Eylea) so far has been that I might be able to go another month without one.  That would be good news, of course, but over five years of this problem I’ve learned that we need to keep a low threshold for treating the edema, otherwise it can quickly get worse.  As long as my health insurance (Medicare + Aetna) covers the cost of the new drug, I’m more than willing to endure the treatment, which sounds worse than it is – i.e., a needle stuck in your eyeball.

All of the rain we’ve been getting has really invigorated the garden...and the weeds.  As I’ve said before, gardening and landscaping here consists mainly of near constant aggressive pruning and keeping stuff under control.  Our gardener, who comes once every two weeks, helps with this in the front area, but we still do a lot more there and in the other areas.  Every time he visits he loads up a truckload of green waste.  Things do slow down in the “winter” but we never have a period of total shut down like we did in Ohio.  Another price of living in paradise.

Covid 19 continues to surge on Oahu and the Governor has pushed back the visitor quarantine waiver until October.  In the meantime here on our island our new cases continue to creep up, though so far they haven’t overwhelmed our meager hospital resources.  This week 4 more people were arrested for quarantine violations, all in Hilo. Two were residents returning from the mainland, and two were visitors.  To me this isn’t about rights, but about responsible behavior — a concept some people seem to have difficulty with.  Also in Hilo there are 8 new cases this week in a school that had just reopened. Disturbing. Anyway, so far there haven’t been any additional restrictions on our island, though there have on Oahu, but many of us are getting a bit nervous.  We have about 45 active cases now, and of course they are isolated and no longer spreading the virus, but that means there are a number of asymptomatic people around who are contagious and don’t know they are spreading it bigly.

We had less rain this week and a bit more sun.  We finished our solar month just a smidge in the red, so we definitely picked up some extra photons.  The gain was despite the fact that we used our bedroom a.c. a couple of nights this week.  I’ve calculated that our new unit is very, very efficient, and overall a good investment.

Ok, off for our usual routine, though we will have to get back in time for me to go to the eye doctor.  I plan on a nice nap when that’s over with.  Take care everyone.  Stay healthy and help other people do the same......

Dick

Mainland Missive: An Ark, A Haircut, and A Parka

Note to Snow Crash Readers:  Just a reminder that the Mainland Missive Series is based on weekly emails I send to my family on the mainland.  They can be a little rough and personal.

_________________________________________

8/15/20

Aloha All!                                   

Big news this week has been the dramatic rise of Covid 19 cases on Oahu, with the accompanying strain on the health care system. There could not be a clearer experiment showing (a) the contagiousness of this thing and (b) how effective responsible behavior can be to contain it (an unmasked biker rally of 250k doesn’t qualify as responsible, IMHO).  Oahu went from having the pandemic nearly completely under control to record-breaking numbers that are outstripping ICU and hospital facilities in just few weeks. Some of this is due to large cluster outbreaks in prisons and military installations, but mostly it is because loosening restrictions in early July led to large gatherings and unmasked close contact.  Come on people, get a grip!  This isn’t a hoax – it *really* does cost lives and money in terms of expensive hospitalizations and lost business.

In more mundane news, our wet and cool weather is getting ridiculous.  On Tuesday night it rained 1.4" at our house, then another .7" on Wednesday night, and on Thursday night yet another .6" .  Notice I said “night.”  This almost always begins in late afternoon and continues into evening – our days start with beautiful mornings and then clouds move in later. And living at 800' on the Kona coast we frequently are able to watch a colorful sunset even while it is dumping rain. We had a couple of really sunny days last week and my solar pv system was able to nearly wipe out the month’s deficit, but then the cloudy pattern returned and we are back to being in the red, though not that deep.  Our meters are read on the 20th, so we could still get enough to break even if we get a bit more sun.

In addition to being wet, our cool temps are continuing – on Thursday night it got down to 67! Break out the parka! In a house that can’t be closed up entirely and has no insulation or heat, that can feel pretty chilly.  Usually at this time of year the low might be around 72-74.  Strange times we live in, right?

Three pleasant things happened this week.  I got my hair cut again (what a treat, despite all the precautions), so I’m ready for another lockdown if it comes.  On Wednesday Karen & I worked out at PF (only about 10 other people, all masked) then had a Vietnamese Lemon Grass Chicken sandwich from one of our favorite restaurants (Bale), which we took to a beach park near the airport.  Weather was gorgeous – until we got back home.  Finally, my handy man came on Thursday and we finished repairing the lanai railing I’ve been working on.  Always a good feeling to finish a project....until you realize there are 6 more waiting.

Ok, that’s it.  Off the market, breakfast picnic, and then our PF workout.  Take care everybody, stay comfy, safe, and as sane as you can.

ZZ Reports from Earth: Group 2

The following reports were received as a single burst transmission from relay station Alpha 3z26. Apparently Zork sent each message on a different date but the relay buffer stored them for later forwarding as a group. 

___________________________________________

Encrypted Transmission #003 Agent ZZ to IEC Local Date 11.10.19

Puzzled. Earlier reports said this country is a “democracy” yet most eligible citizens don’t vote and current leader didn’t get most votes. Translation data base wrong? Plz advise.

Encrypted Transmission #004 Agent ZZ to IEC Local Date 11.12.19

Zork here. Note to Planning Council – humans put great importance on imaginary lines between political units. Will die to defend them, kill others to keep them from crossing to same side. We can use this weakness! 

Encrypted Transmission #005 Agent ZZ to IEC Local Date 11.17.19

Current American leader prime example of regressive trend outlined in report. Seems to view all other political units as enemies and as threats. All criticism is personal and "fake." Thrives on internal strife and divisiveness. If he finds out I'm an alien I'll be a puddle of protoplasm...

 End of Transmission from relay station. Complete as sent. Acknowledge Receipt .